How to Lose a Knife in a Bar

 

 

 If you want to lose your knife, the bar is the place to go. There's really nothing to bring a knife to. The bartender opens all his beer and for some reason, people get angry when he tries to make a feather bar with a chair leg. The best you can hope for is that a well-meaning lover asks you what you have in your pocket and that you can talk with a cold knife for a while.

The last time I was asked what was in a bar box, I was in the bathroom and the old leather suit was staring into my pants wasn't washing my hands. He didn't wash his hands in the piss, so I said a coin and apologized. I was about to lose my knife when he left for the bar. Maybe because I safely checked it, or perhaps because I put it in the sink while washing my hands, not for some reason, but because my decision up until then seemed perfectly logical.

All I'm saying is that I lost a few knives in bars, so much so that I decided to call myself an expert in the field, whatever you can do if you follow my deliberate instructions to distract yourself from the clouds of my drinking problem.

Pick the right bar.

Small town bars are a safe place for pocket knives, but town bars take them with them.
The first step is to find the right place to lose the knife. Some bars are easier to lose with a knife than others. For example, in a small town bar, nobody cares about your knife.

If you can imagine a place like Cheers, just to have the hottest and most claustrophobic place with a more claustrophobic layout, except maybe the bartender takes all the sarcastic answers in his head with less attractive people, and just before he asks you for your number, let a good tip model them in a vague sympathy that begs you to finish after you leave and you'll have a good idea of the small town elements you'll be dealing with. In these places, you really rely on your own stupidity.

There's even a salty old man in the corner who keeps calling you "Charlie" when no one knows your name and you'll never know why.

Cities with colleges, on the other hand, offer a wide range of tools that an ambitious knife user can use to get lost or forcibly separate from his knife.

Diving rod. 

 

Just like a small town pole, there's a good chance he'll be invaded by a bunch of student boys. These creations are especially useful for losing the knife because they are one of the few that can be really interested in the knife and pass it on to a friend with a hat. At some point, you will hear the expression "look at this". The following possibilities are too complicated to understand here, but make sure you have the best knife loss at that time.

Fashionable bar. 

 

It actually looks very much like a dive bar, but each drink costs twice as much and at least two men wear an ironic handlebar moustache instead of an upside-down sports hat. In a place like this, there is not much chance that that will happen. When you pull your knife, you only get a worried look to the side of the bartender says with an exaggerated voice: "You can't drink here".

A popular bar. 

 

Whether it's popular because it's really fun or because it's between a movie theatre and a good bat, it's always crowded. To go to the bar you need a lamb and the bathroom is the only legend that somehow always whispers in the lines between you and your table. On weekends, this place will chop where opportunities abound.

Clubs. 

 

You're not here because you chose this place. You came here by accident. You think you're standing in line for a food truck when a tall man in a "Safety" shirt asks you why you're wearing a hoodie. There's nothing in the world worth getting into, but this is definitely the best kind of bar to lose your knife.

Choosing the right drink

For lightweights, I recommend attacking to increase the strength of the beer.
This is essential because these things seldom happen before enough good and bad decisions are made about the choice of drinking.

Longevity is the key here because it is necessary to create as comprehensive a window as possible to make the wrong decisions. For lightweights, I recommend attacking to increase the strength of the beer. You have to let the drunkenness in until you're so drunk you can't get out.